Once however, a child advances in ability and skill to the point that they "make the traveling team," or otherwise begin to compete at the near-elite or elite level, things change. Practices are often conducted 5-6 times a week, and depending on the activity, can be held indoors as often as not (gymnastics, swimming, wrestling, hockey, etc.) for several hours at a time. Contact time with one or more coaches increases dramatically with the young athlete often spending more time with the coach than with the parents, at least during their waking hours. This exposure can potentially set up the young athlete for exploitation and abuse at the hands of a sexual predator should such a person be serving as a coach. (Coaches of course are hardly alone in this category and should not be automatically or universally suspect just because they work with young people. The same can be said of youth ministers, priests, and school teachers).

Depending on the sport and type of team with which your child is involved, invariably at some level there is a governing body or organization that oversees the team and its coaches. The extent of that involvement and accompanying accountability varies widely from activity to activity, but it is at this level that a parent needs to inquire with respect to the certification process being applied to coaches and most importantly, the extent to which criminal background checks are being administered. Given how busy most parents are today, it is unrealistic to expect individual parents to be conducting these checks on their own. However, if you discern that the activity’s governing body is not conducting background checks, our advice is to not permit your child to participate unless and until such checks are undertaken and the team’s coaches have been certified as being free of any past criminal behavior based on a reputable criminal background check. (Some institutions require this to be a FBI level background check for example).

As we know though, no preventive system is fool proof. Thus, as a parent, you remain the last line of defense. With that in mind, here are some warning signs that you may have a predatory coach working with your son or daughter:

1. Showing preferential treatment toward one or more players, notably when such is not warranted by their athletic performance.
2. Making any type of sexually related statement to a player or about a player whether within a group or individually.
3. Making any type of statement about a player’s body shape or development in a sexual context, especially by a male coach of a female athlete.
4. Abusive behavior of any type toward anyone on the team, whether a fellow coach, athlete or a parent.
5. Failing to respect the privacy of an athlete, whether in a dressing room or other confine. Applies across genders.
6. Seeking to arrange for exclusive time alone in private with a young athlete for training, during a trip, workout session, etc., when such is not warranted or does not allow for a chaperone.
7. Declining to invite chaperones to out of town contests.
8. Seeking to ingratiate oneself with an athlete’s parents in order to curry favor and ultimately, time alone with the athlete.
9. Inappropriate conduct of any type, whether in terms of team administration, handling of subordinate coaches, relations with parents, relations with school administrators--anything.
10. Unwillingness to submit to a criminal background check by the governing agency in charge of the team or sport.
11. Uncharacteristic reluctance on the part of your son or daughter to talk about the coach or their involvement with the team or related activity.
12. Unexplained loss of interest in the sporting activity, and or reluctance to attend practice or competitions by your child.

While for the most part, few of these indicators taken singularly may be grounds for major concern, if you see a pattern emerging, it’s time to act. Here are five action steps every parent can take if they have any suspicion about the behavior of a coach:

• Confront the coach with your concerns. We realize not every parent is want to confront their child’s coach about his or her behavior in the absence of an outright accusation of misconduct. But bring it up anyways. Express your concerns about the behavior that has raised your suspicion. Minimally this will put the predatory coach on notice that his or her actions are drawing negative attention. Be prepared for denial.
• Share your concern with fellow team parents if you see the negative behavior persisting. Ask if they are witnessing or have witnessed what you are seeing. Are they concerned? What do they think? If something seems out of place, odds are you are not the only one to have picked up on it. In short, trust your gut.
• Insist that the governing agency for the team, whether it’s a private club headed by a parents group, a private organization that offers athletic training or a school, screen their coaching personnel through the use (minimally) of a state criminal history record background check to include any states of previous residence if such applies. We also recommend that governing organizations make use of a Federal criminal record background check for their coaches and supporting officials.
• Be especially curious about a coach’s credentials and history if your child is in a pre-Olympic or similar elite level training program. Make appropriate inquiries. Interview the coach personally. Only sign on if and when your questions are adequately answered. Remember: only you can be your child’s ultimate advocate and guardian.
• Talk often with your child about their participation in the activity, their relationship with the coach or coaches, how things are going, etc. Do so with discerning eyes and ears. You know your child. If your intuition suggests things are not right, odds are they aren’t. Act on any concerns that may surface through such discussions.

Finally, though it is now well established in competitive sports that a parent-coach is a conflict of interest, there may indeed be some protection against sexual or other abuse when a parent-coach leads a team. He may have an agenda that his own kid be a star, or a desire to just coach and bond with that child. This type of motivation is different from that of an abusing coach unrelated to any child on the team. This coach will be on road trips, at practices, etc., where parents may not be, and inferentially some protection with early detection of abuse may be offered by his or her presence. There is never however, 100% protection against abuse.

To some, all of this may seem much ado about a very miniscule problem in America. However, studies show that pedophiles make up as much as 3% of the general population¹. Moreover, they are apt to migrate to activities involving young children as a matter of practice. Given the horrific consequences of sexual abuse for the child² however, we strongly believe the steps we advocate are more than worth the time and effort to prevent such abuse.

We hope this information has proved helpful for you as a parent of a young athlete. Your comments to this article will help us make it better. Next month we will address steps a young athlete can take to avoid getting into those situations that put them at risk to a predatory coach while also providing similar tips for the young athlete with respect to their coaches.

Notes:

¹See the article at More Characteristics of Sexual Offenders.

²These can and often include:

• Failed future relationships with spouse and family
• Academic under achievement
• Depression
• Chronic illness
• Reduced income earning potential
• Drug addiction
• Suicide